The Great Gatsby

I found out the other day that one of my favorite English professors was doing a lesson on the book The Great Gatsby. I said to her, "Why were we not reading that when I was in your classes? Don't you understand? The Great Gatsby is my favorite book! I consider that book a modern day love story that takes place in the 1920's ha ha! Gatsby hooks up with a woman that does not have as much interest in him as he does her. I connect much of his pain to the pain that my friends share. I think a lot of people can relate to Gatsby. I wrote this poem in the perspective of the Great Gatsby, if I was a modern day Gatsby.

My name is Gatsby, and I'm great let me give you a run-down
people know who i am, I'm think I'm state renowned

whenever i throw a party its the talk of the town
mad people show up in their nice tuxes and gowns

the party is popping as i watch people get down
i sit and watch from my window wearing my invisible crown

Its a party up in west egg, with mad peeps that i surround
but there this one chick Daisy, I allays hope to see around

I walk into my bro Nicks house, to which I have found
Daisy was standing there, my feet were glued to the ground

I'll never forget that night, she took me back to her compound
we were up all night, squealing like the hounds

her dumb ass husband tom started to shove yours truly around
he said what the fuck are you doing? its me that she is bound

bitch i went to oxford, so don't get all profound
ill fucking knock you out with one punch and bring you to the ground

i know peeps that rigged the world series so i suggest you spin around
they make you so scared your pants will start turning brown

I want you daisy ill do anything to not make you frown
why don't you live with me? and dump that dumb ass clown

Its the jazz age baby, i don't care if your on the rebound
well make the beast with two backs, if you come around

we'll roll in my yellow Rolls Royse all over town
if there is someone, you can mow that bitch down

its sucks you have to your husband, i know you don't want to get caught
I'll be thinking of you, in my pool, and hopefully I don't get shot.

if i ever pass on, i hope you'll be thinking about me Daisy
I'll love you forever, sincerely yours The Great Jay Gatsby

MTV Poem

There are no tunes on this station, the music they try to smother,
I’ve heard more music on an episode of “How I met your mother.”

You wont see U2, Alice in Chains, Sublime or Styx,
They still play music videos, but only from 5 to 6.

Why did MTV take away the music? No one really knows.
The station is now a haven for shitty dating shows.

Next, Exposed, Room Raiders, are shows that are very hollow,
They only put contestants on there that are really SHALLOW.

“My super sweet sixteen,”
“I want to fly on a jet, my guests need first class seating,”
I think all those parents should give their kids a beating.

“Daddy this isn’t the car I wanted, I wanted the Go-go dolls”
No Daddy NO.

“Parental control.”
The parents find a new date for their daughter,
Why are they trying to pretend?
Cause shel’l always pick her douche bag boyfriend at the end.

In the show Made, the take a teen that should be sucking on a bottle
And they try to make a sobbing fat chick turn into a model.

What ever happened to the days when we said, I want my MTV
I never thought I’d say this, but I miss Carson Daly

The Corey Dooling Poem

I wrote this poem yesterday for a Friend that passed away this Monday. I'm going to his wake today and I'm going to his funeral tomorrow. It's not too sappy! I promise

Corey Dooling Poem

Corey Dooling was man built like he was raised on a farm
He had a combination of charisma, cockiness, and charm

Didn’t matter what he said, everyone thought he was funny.
Corey was a ladies man, he could get a playboy bunny.

When it came to the ladies, Corey could take his pick.
He knew in his mind, that he was nobody’s sidekick

Corey spoke in a sarcastic tone that only I could comprehend.
I said you’re such a toolbag, we really should be friends.

The type of friendship he displayed you couldn’t really compare.
He always had my back, to me that was very rare.

On the road, he would always drive like he was in outer space.
We‘d drive with no destination, yet we all wanted to get someplace.

I didn’t matter if Corey, Pat or I was the driver.
We would crank up the tunes, and sing Holy Diver.

If he told you something, you’d really believe it was true.
Corey thought he was invincible, and we believed it too.

When we played ruit, I loved to watch him lose his cool.
Then he’d moon everyone there, almost acting like a fool.

He would always like to show the place that he would sit.
One time he had a pimple on his butt, maybe I should’ve popped it!….jk

Corey was a free spirit and he loved surfing on the ocean.
I think we got along because we didn’t show much emotion

Corey wanted to help people out, and turn it into a living
He even helped Happy Juice out of an abandoned building.

If he brought a date and she left with another dude,
Corey would leave with another, and do it without being rude

I wish he stayed a little longer, Corey would’ve been a success
And I wish some people wouldn’t take advantage of his kindness

Many said they knew Corey Dooling, their friendship he would thrive
Any party would get 25% better, whenever he’d arrive

I wish I had one more drink with him, maybe one last call
Corey Dooling was loved by many, hated by few, but respected by all!

Star Wars Racism part 1

I think its amusing that many people in movies, media, and the Internet claim that certain aspects of Star Wars are racist. Some of them are very good points, but I don't take them seriously. As a man of color myself, I think racism is often times hilarious. Here are some examples of racism in Star Wars.

We have Jar-Jar Binks, who speaks like a black slave. He follows the Jedi masters around and doing everything that they say. Jar-Jar is not that well educated and neither are his people.

Jar-Jar's people are the Gungan and the live benethe the rich white people of naboo. The people of Naboo are of much higher class, obviously repressing white people. They get to live in the sun while the Gungan have to live beneath them under water and In hiding.

In the Phantom Menace, we have the green skinned Neimoidians. They have Asian accents, with squinty eyes and flat faces. They are in charge of most of the technology In the Galaxy. Obviously they represent the Japanese, we just don't know which cooperation.

The Ahbraham Poem

As far as you know, the name of my Blog is Ahbraham

A lot of people ask me, "What is the deal with Ahbraham? what is a Ahbraham?" Ahbraham is a person I meet in real life that I feel defines who I am. Through him I feel created my own Idenity. I feel the people you hang around and the people you meet, created who you are and help you know more about yourself (If that makes any sense)

Ahbrahm was a minister I meet a while back. I felt the guy was a total nut, but he was so interesting to me. In fact, I have made videos impersonating him because I think he is so Hilarious. So you can further understand, I posted up a poem that I wrote about him. Enjoy!

It was 2005, I was with my friends Dan Lyon and DC
and we talked about were we would go if we had money

I said I would go to Florida, DC said he would Guam
then out of nowhere a man popped out and said "I would go to Ahbraham!"

Where’s Ahbraham? Is that in Europe or Bombay?
No individual Ahbraham is I and I will show you the way

"I am a minister and my goal is to save your each of your souls
and if there is an empty space in your life I will fill your hole!"

I was intrigued by this person, are you high or are you just really board?
"your darn right I'm high, I'm high with the spirit of the lord"

"the problem with today’s youth is you try to get whatever you can acquire
these material things, you are all sinners, fornicators and sodomizers"

I couldn’t tell if he was a hippie, drunk or some random bum
Dan Lyon turned to me and asked what is he smoking and where can I get some

The guy was clearly nuts, I think he wanted us to join his cult
well Ahbraham we have to go we really have to bolt

"that’s ok individual, I'm going to part your red sea.
Prayer is proof that the most powerful position is on your knees!"

We didn’t leave the place feeling any wiser
Then DC asked me “A.J. what’s a sodomizer?”

The Bob Dylan Poem

Now, I'm sure everyone in my classes, and everyone that looks at my blogges have seen what MTV and VH1 have become. Niether one of them play Music anymore, because tey need room for reality dating shows. Many of hese dating shows have 20 chicks after one semi-washed up music star like Bret Micheals or Flavor Flav. I accored to me, "What if Bob Dylan had one of these shows?" That's why I wrote this next poem.
I called it what they would call the name of the show.......

Bob-bin for Dylan

All the girls step off the bus, they think they are in heaven
All these broads are after a man that just turned 67
They head into house hoping to see the rock and roll sage
All the bimbos hear are at least a third of his age

He walks out with his black pressed suit and dyed black hair
He’s older than Cher but he doesn’t care
He waited it’s the first episode, it’s the series debut
He opened his mouth and said, “it very nice to meet you”

The girls go rushing towards him with hiked up skirts and thongs
Each one of them telling him that they love his songs
The girls are screaming towards him, he’s going to be sitting there for a while
His black sunglasses hide his emotions, he doesn’t even smile

Its Jell-O wrestling time, and there’s no need to sob
Because whoever wins gets alone time with bob
One of the busted broads said, “now I’m all icky”
What’s the matter slut you’re used to being sticky

After they cleaned themselves off from the grime
He pulled them in a room and said its elimination time
They are all standing, they are all in check
Each girl wanting to wear a golden harmonica around her neck

This didn’t take much time to think this all through
But the girls I’m eliminating is actually all of you
That’s right, get out of my house and get out off my life
Go and be somebody else’s trophy wife.

The station is going to take this show and put it on the shelf
I can’t please everybody but at least I can please myself

How does it feel to be on your own?
And to have the IQ of an ice cream cone
Though there’s 30 of you I never felt so all alone
Find some other rock star you can bone
Get out of here like a rolling stone

The Only Love Poem

I want you

I want you like a fat kid wants cake.
Like warren beatty wants second take.
Like a carpenter wants something to make.
Like a Michael Jackson wants to convince you his nose isnt fake.
I want you

I want you like a fish collector wants a koy.
Like a sibling needs someone to annoy.
Like a child wants a toy.
Like a priest wants a small.....cross.
I want you

I need you like a ship needs a sail.
like a well needs a pail.
like Sea world needs a whale
like Michael Vick needs to stay in jail.
I need you

I need you like a windshield needs glass.
like a one-upper needs someone to surpass.
Like a stoner needs some grass.
Like a teacher needs a class.
I need you

I want you Like a chemist wants the atomic mass.
I want you like a car needs gas.
Like a NASCAR driver doesn't want come in last
Like that same driver needs to go fast.
Like someone in Disneyland needs a fast pass.
Like a porn star wants a…….steady paycheck
I want you.

I need you
Like Keanu Reeves needs acting lesson
like a student needs a question.
like an emo kid needs to get away from his depression.
Like Frank Caliendo needs an impression.
Like John McEnroe needs to let out his aggression.
Like Martin Luther King needed to eliminate oppression.
Like a stoner kid needs a jam session.
What a Catholic schoolgirl needs to go to confession.
like an old lady needs a copy of Readers Digestion
like some people need a better profession.
like this country needs to get out of recession
just point me in the right direction

I'm not just saying this to get you in the sack
all I'm sayng is need me and want me back