As far as you know, the name of my Blog is Ahbraham
A lot of people ask me, "What is the deal with Ahbraham? what is a Ahbraham?" Ahbraham is a person I meet in real life that I feel defines who I am. Through him I feel created my own Idenity. I feel the people you hang around and the people you meet, created who you are and help you know more about yourself (If that makes any sense)
Ahbrahm was a minister I meet a while back. I felt the guy was a total nut, but he was so interesting to me. In fact, I have made videos impersonating him because I think he is so Hilarious. So you can further understand, I posted up a poem that I wrote about him. Enjoy!
It was 2005, I was with my friends Dan Lyon and DC
and we talked about were we would go if we had money
I said I would go to Florida, DC said he would Guam
then out of nowhere a man popped out and said "I would go to Ahbraham!"
Where’s Ahbraham? Is that in Europe or Bombay?
No individual Ahbraham is I and I will show you the way
"I am a minister and my goal is to save your each of your souls
and if there is an empty space in your life I will fill your hole!"
I was intrigued by this person, are you high or are you just really board?
"your darn right I'm high, I'm high with the spirit of the lord"
"the problem with today’s youth is you try to get whatever you can acquire
these material things, you are all sinners, fornicators and sodomizers"
I couldn’t tell if he was a hippie, drunk or some random bum
Dan Lyon turned to me and asked what is he smoking and where can I get some
The guy was clearly nuts, I think he wanted us to join his cult
well Ahbraham we have to go we really have to bolt
"that’s ok individual, I'm going to part your red sea.
Prayer is proof that the most powerful position is on your knees!"
We didn’t leave the place feeling any wiser
Then DC asked me “A.J. what’s a sodomizer?”
Friday, March 13, 2009
The Bob Dylan Poem
Now, I'm sure everyone in my classes, and everyone that looks at my blogges have seen what MTV and VH1 have become. Niether one of them play Music anymore, because tey need room for reality dating shows. Many of hese dating shows have 20 chicks after one semi-washed up music star like Bret Micheals or Flavor Flav. I accored to me, "What if Bob Dylan had one of these shows?" That's why I wrote this next poem.
I called it what they would call the name of the show.......
Bob-bin for Dylan
All the girls step off the bus, they think they are in heaven
All these broads are after a man that just turned 67
They head into house hoping to see the rock and roll sage
All the bimbos hear are at least a third of his age
He walks out with his black pressed suit and dyed black hair
He’s older than Cher but he doesn’t care
He waited it’s the first episode, it’s the series debut
He opened his mouth and said, “it very nice to meet you”
The girls go rushing towards him with hiked up skirts and thongs
Each one of them telling him that they love his songs
The girls are screaming towards him, he’s going to be sitting there for a while
His black sunglasses hide his emotions, he doesn’t even smile
Its Jell-O wrestling time, and there’s no need to sob
Because whoever wins gets alone time with bob
One of the busted broads said, “now I’m all icky”
What’s the matter slut you’re used to being sticky
After they cleaned themselves off from the grime
He pulled them in a room and said its elimination time
They are all standing, they are all in check
Each girl wanting to wear a golden harmonica around her neck
This didn’t take much time to think this all through
But the girls I’m eliminating is actually all of you
That’s right, get out of my house and get out off my life
Go and be somebody else’s trophy wife.
The station is going to take this show and put it on the shelf
I can’t please everybody but at least I can please myself
How does it feel to be on your own?
And to have the IQ of an ice cream cone
Though there’s 30 of you I never felt so all alone
Find some other rock star you can bone
Get out of here like a rolling stone
I called it what they would call the name of the show.......
Bob-bin for Dylan
All the girls step off the bus, they think they are in heaven
All these broads are after a man that just turned 67
They head into house hoping to see the rock and roll sage
All the bimbos hear are at least a third of his age
He walks out with his black pressed suit and dyed black hair
He’s older than Cher but he doesn’t care
He waited it’s the first episode, it’s the series debut
He opened his mouth and said, “it very nice to meet you”
The girls go rushing towards him with hiked up skirts and thongs
Each one of them telling him that they love his songs
The girls are screaming towards him, he’s going to be sitting there for a while
His black sunglasses hide his emotions, he doesn’t even smile
Its Jell-O wrestling time, and there’s no need to sob
Because whoever wins gets alone time with bob
One of the busted broads said, “now I’m all icky”
What’s the matter slut you’re used to being sticky
After they cleaned themselves off from the grime
He pulled them in a room and said its elimination time
They are all standing, they are all in check
Each girl wanting to wear a golden harmonica around her neck
This didn’t take much time to think this all through
But the girls I’m eliminating is actually all of you
That’s right, get out of my house and get out off my life
Go and be somebody else’s trophy wife.
The station is going to take this show and put it on the shelf
I can’t please everybody but at least I can please myself
How does it feel to be on your own?
And to have the IQ of an ice cream cone
Though there’s 30 of you I never felt so all alone
Find some other rock star you can bone
Get out of here like a rolling stone
The Only Love Poem
I want you
I want you like a fat kid wants cake.
Like warren beatty wants second take.
Like a carpenter wants something to make.
Like a Michael Jackson wants to convince you his nose isnt fake.
I want you
I want you like a fish collector wants a koy.
Like a sibling needs someone to annoy.
Like a child wants a toy.
Like a priest wants a small.....cross.
I want you
I need you like a ship needs a sail.
like a well needs a pail.
like Sea world needs a whale
like Michael Vick needs to stay in jail.
I need you
I need you like a windshield needs glass.
like a one-upper needs someone to surpass.
Like a stoner needs some grass.
Like a teacher needs a class.
I need you
I want you Like a chemist wants the atomic mass.
I want you like a car needs gas.
Like a NASCAR driver doesn't want come in last
Like that same driver needs to go fast.
Like someone in Disneyland needs a fast pass.
Like a porn star wants a…….steady paycheck
I want you.
I need you
Like Keanu Reeves needs acting lesson
like a student needs a question.
like an emo kid needs to get away from his depression.
Like Frank Caliendo needs an impression.
Like John McEnroe needs to let out his aggression.
Like Martin Luther King needed to eliminate oppression.
Like a stoner kid needs a jam session.
What a Catholic schoolgirl needs to go to confession.
like an old lady needs a copy of Readers Digestion
like some people need a better profession.
like this country needs to get out of recession
just point me in the right direction
I'm not just saying this to get you in the sack
all I'm sayng is need me and want me back
I want you like a fat kid wants cake.
Like warren beatty wants second take.
Like a carpenter wants something to make.
Like a Michael Jackson wants to convince you his nose isnt fake.
I want you
I want you like a fish collector wants a koy.
Like a sibling needs someone to annoy.
Like a child wants a toy.
Like a priest wants a small.....cross.
I want you
I need you like a ship needs a sail.
like a well needs a pail.
like Sea world needs a whale
like Michael Vick needs to stay in jail.
I need you
I need you like a windshield needs glass.
like a one-upper needs someone to surpass.
Like a stoner needs some grass.
Like a teacher needs a class.
I need you
I want you Like a chemist wants the atomic mass.
I want you like a car needs gas.
Like a NASCAR driver doesn't want come in last
Like that same driver needs to go fast.
Like someone in Disneyland needs a fast pass.
Like a porn star wants a…….steady paycheck
I want you.
I need you
Like Keanu Reeves needs acting lesson
like a student needs a question.
like an emo kid needs to get away from his depression.
Like Frank Caliendo needs an impression.
Like John McEnroe needs to let out his aggression.
Like Martin Luther King needed to eliminate oppression.
Like a stoner kid needs a jam session.
What a Catholic schoolgirl needs to go to confession.
like an old lady needs a copy of Readers Digestion
like some people need a better profession.
like this country needs to get out of recession
just point me in the right direction
I'm not just saying this to get you in the sack
all I'm sayng is need me and want me back
Poetry Night
Hi I'm A.J. and I've been reading poetry this place called the blackspot for about 5 months now. I'm not that shy when I comes to reading in front of people, but others might be. As a result, I think that the Blackspot should dedicate one night to the unsung poets, that may have and have not read poetry in public.
Many of my facebook friends have tagged me in his or her poetry notes. I think a lot of them have really great stuff, and I think they deserve to be listened to. It wasn't up until recently did I read one of them that I decided to create this group. Many of you have posted poetry in the past, and many of you know who you are.
I recently made a Facebook group dedicated to this cause, unfortunatey I got some nagative responses. This is one of them
"i don't have enough material! and b-spot is weaksauce. with to many alcoholics to appreciate our epic sonnets! we should see if there's anywhere else we can do this. like 4c's and have it been like a poet get together. sharing pieces, ideas, and shooting the shit of course."
This is another
"I haven't been back there in forever. I wanna go see my friends play, but it kind of got scary. well....the 40-something-year-olds hitting on me bit. If you're old enough to be my parent, please back the fuck off. lol"
This is what I wrote back to both of them
"I respectfully have to agree with you pat....... idk. I think all our friends are right, too many douche bags go there. I was just hoping for a night in which people who haven't read there poetry out loud could finally get a chance in front of people that they are comfortable around, rather than the bucktoothed homeless looking weirdos that yell shit out while people are performing. But I still have hope!"
Many of my facebook friends have tagged me in his or her poetry notes. I think a lot of them have really great stuff, and I think they deserve to be listened to. It wasn't up until recently did I read one of them that I decided to create this group. Many of you have posted poetry in the past, and many of you know who you are.
I recently made a Facebook group dedicated to this cause, unfortunatey I got some nagative responses. This is one of them
"i don't have enough material! and b-spot is weaksauce. with to many alcoholics to appreciate our epic sonnets! we should see if there's anywhere else we can do this. like 4c's and have it been like a poet get together. sharing pieces, ideas, and shooting the shit of course."
This is another
"I haven't been back there in forever. I wanna go see my friends play, but it kind of got scary. well....the 40-something-year-olds hitting on me bit. If you're old enough to be my parent, please back the fuck off. lol"
This is what I wrote back to both of them
"I respectfully have to agree with you pat....... idk. I think all our friends are right, too many douche bags go there. I was just hoping for a night in which people who haven't read there poetry out loud could finally get a chance in front of people that they are comfortable around, rather than the bucktoothed homeless looking weirdos that yell shit out while people are performing. But I still have hope!"
My Midget Poem
Since I'm a poet and I read in public, a lot of my friends as me to write poems about them. So far I've only written one poem about a good friend of mine. I love her. She's about 4'7 and I'm one of the only people that she lets call her a midget. I'm sorry if you might be offended by this poem, but all that matters is that she was not.
They may have a smaller body, heart and brain
But they are people too, there one in the same
How can I get a midget? There must be a way
So I went on-line, and bought one off e-bay
I opened the box and guess what popped out
It was my very own midget, I didn’t have a doubt
I took her to the zoo, I bought her balloons from the staff
I put her on my shoulder, so she could see the giraffe
Like in Find Me Guilty she was my lawyer
I was Huck Finn and she was Tom Sawyer
We’d take the 85 Dodge shadow to the streets
Shed yell in her high pitched voice from the seats
She had an unorthodox personality it was hard to label
She had to sit in a boaster seat so she could reach the table
Sometimes people would laugh at her because she was the Size of a pillow
She carried a small sword with her, like Frodo or that guy from Willow
She was short tempered; I’d never maker her mad
She’s short enough that she can head butt you in the nads
One thing you should know, our friendship was legit
I was just happy that I had a friend that was a…little person
One thing I will tell you, before I must depart
I you want a midget friend, craigslist is a good place to start
They may have a smaller body, heart and brain
But they are people too, there one in the same
How can I get a midget? There must be a way
So I went on-line, and bought one off e-bay
I opened the box and guess what popped out
It was my very own midget, I didn’t have a doubt
I took her to the zoo, I bought her balloons from the staff
I put her on my shoulder, so she could see the giraffe
Like in Find Me Guilty she was my lawyer
I was Huck Finn and she was Tom Sawyer
We’d take the 85 Dodge shadow to the streets
Shed yell in her high pitched voice from the seats
She had an unorthodox personality it was hard to label
She had to sit in a boaster seat so she could reach the table
Sometimes people would laugh at her because she was the Size of a pillow
She carried a small sword with her, like Frodo or that guy from Willow
She was short tempered; I’d never maker her mad
She’s short enough that she can head butt you in the nads
One thing you should know, our friendship was legit
I was just happy that I had a friend that was a…little person
One thing I will tell you, before I must depart
I you want a midget friend, craigslist is a good place to start
The Judgement Poem
They don’t send money to me
And you come here for free
Yet you yell obscenities
And stand there with Glee
What makes you think you can Judge me
Since when did you get a poetry Degree
If you hate it, its not were you need to be
Go smoke a cigarette or go pee
Do what you normally do, light up those trees
Stay in your car, listen to your Pink Floyd CD
Just don’t go on a heckling spree
You turd of the sea
Not everybody’s going to like my poetry
This I can guarantee
I don’t know the key to success,
But I know the key to failure,
And that’s trying to please
Everyone that’s there
You say I’m too loud
For this I’m proud
As a result my emotions don’t cloud
I cant please the whole crowd
i write cause God, says I’m allowed
maybe I don’t like the way you play that
maybe you can’t carry a tune or rap
maybe I don’t think you’re funny
maybe your music sounds like crap
maybe I don’t like your act, and that’s what I conclude
but I don’t yell shit out , cause I think its rude
express your opinion some other time, and show a little class
cause I wouldn’t go were you perform, and knock the dick out of your ass
And you come here for free
Yet you yell obscenities
And stand there with Glee
What makes you think you can Judge me
Since when did you get a poetry Degree
If you hate it, its not were you need to be
Go smoke a cigarette or go pee
Do what you normally do, light up those trees
Stay in your car, listen to your Pink Floyd CD
Just don’t go on a heckling spree
You turd of the sea
Not everybody’s going to like my poetry
This I can guarantee
I don’t know the key to success,
But I know the key to failure,
And that’s trying to please
Everyone that’s there
You say I’m too loud
For this I’m proud
As a result my emotions don’t cloud
I cant please the whole crowd
i write cause God, says I’m allowed
maybe I don’t like the way you play that
maybe you can’t carry a tune or rap
maybe I don’t think you’re funny
maybe your music sounds like crap
maybe I don’t like your act, and that’s what I conclude
but I don’t yell shit out , cause I think its rude
express your opinion some other time, and show a little class
cause I wouldn’t go were you perform, and knock the dick out of your ass
Talking e-mail Trash!
I was deeply offended the other day when a 38 year old woman sent me a Facebook message, talking trash about a person that is a sister of a very good friend of mine. I don't think what she said in her text is important, but I think you should at least read my response afterwards. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!
K***** B*****
Confirm Friend
March 6 at 7:12pm
Report Message
Arthur,
I heard on very good network sources that you're making a move on a woman by the name of K*** **********. You should be made well aware of the facts before you make the mistakes that many have made before you. That woman is a hot mess. She is a chronic liar and is highly medicated because of her instability. She has failed out of four colleges and cannot hold down any job. As a matter of fact she gets fired frpmvall of them. I heard that her ex fiancé bought her a $ 300,000.00 dollar house and she gave him a gift he cannot get rid of!!! Not the type of woman you'd bring home to mom and dad!!! She's highly contagious!!! Not in a good way. She couldn't handle having babies, emotionally, so she's aborted hers with her fiancé of five years. She's a bit off her game. She is always looking for attention. As aatter of fact she has tried to get onto the pants of a few of her fiancé's friends. Not a good person. Justva lonely person. I feel badly for her. Shecneeds a lot of psychological help and more help. Thatviscwhy she lives with her parents and she's almost thirty.
Don't mess with a girl with junk in her crotch!!! Youvwill never be able to sleep with another woman again. Ever.
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Arthur
Today at 5:47am
who is this?
K****** B*******
Confirm Friend
Today at 1:03pm
Report Message
Someone who knows K*** all too well. And that she has ruined her life and many lives she has touched. She has given men STD's that can ruin other peoples lives and sexual reproductive capabilities. Luckily, it can never effect me but has messed will enough people that I know. And she needs to take a good look at herself and get the medical attention that she needs.
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Arthur
Today at 1:17pm
I don't know what behooved you to think i was hitting on her. I'm friends with her younger sister, thats it. I maybe have had two conversations with k*** in my entire life. You gave me quite a bit of information that i didn't need to know. If I had this much hatred for another person I would go talking smack about them, I'd let them know it cause thats the type of person I am.
I appreciate your concern, but I'm a big boy and I can handle myself
K***** B*****
Confirm Friend
March 6 at 7:12pm
Report Message
Arthur,
I heard on very good network sources that you're making a move on a woman by the name of K*** **********. You should be made well aware of the facts before you make the mistakes that many have made before you. That woman is a hot mess. She is a chronic liar and is highly medicated because of her instability. She has failed out of four colleges and cannot hold down any job. As a matter of fact she gets fired frpmvall of them. I heard that her ex fiancé bought her a $ 300,000.00 dollar house and she gave him a gift he cannot get rid of!!! Not the type of woman you'd bring home to mom and dad!!! She's highly contagious!!! Not in a good way. She couldn't handle having babies, emotionally, so she's aborted hers with her fiancé of five years. She's a bit off her game. She is always looking for attention. As aatter of fact she has tried to get onto the pants of a few of her fiancé's friends. Not a good person. Justva lonely person. I feel badly for her. Shecneeds a lot of psychological help and more help. Thatviscwhy she lives with her parents and she's almost thirty.
Don't mess with a girl with junk in her crotch!!! Youvwill never be able to sleep with another woman again. Ever.
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Arthur
Today at 5:47am
who is this?
K****** B*******
Confirm Friend
Today at 1:03pm
Report Message
Someone who knows K*** all too well. And that she has ruined her life and many lives she has touched. She has given men STD's that can ruin other peoples lives and sexual reproductive capabilities. Luckily, it can never effect me but has messed will enough people that I know. And she needs to take a good look at herself and get the medical attention that she needs.
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Arthur
Today at 1:17pm
I don't know what behooved you to think i was hitting on her. I'm friends with her younger sister, thats it. I maybe have had two conversations with k*** in my entire life. You gave me quite a bit of information that i didn't need to know. If I had this much hatred for another person I would go talking smack about them, I'd let them know it cause thats the type of person I am.
I appreciate your concern, but I'm a big boy and I can handle myself
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